Handshakes, pets, raw carrots, and many other things are preferred when they don't slip. I am very afraid that in this wretched book, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire have fallen into something much slipperier than they deserved during the terrifying ascent - and descent - of a strange and dangerous mountain.

To spare you from further disgust, it would be better not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, such as a secret message, a sled, a treacherous trap, a swarm of snow gnats, a diabolical villain, an organized group of children, a pot with a lid, and an unexpected survivor from a disastrous fire.

Unfortunately, I have devoted my life to researching and documenting the sad tale of the Baudelaire orphans, but there is no reason for you to do the same. You can simply let this slippery book slip from your hands and fall into a trash bin or a deep well.

With all my respect,

Lemony Snicket