Dear reader, I am very sorry to have to confess to you that reading the book you hold in your hands will be extremely unpleasant.

This book tells the sad story of three very unfortunate children. They are the Baudelaire siblings, who, despite being charming and clever, have lives filled with suffering and misfortune. From the very first page of the book, where the children are at the beach and learn the tragic news, the disasters continue until the last. One might say that these children attract misfortune like magnets.

In this first book, the one you are holding, the three siblings face a greedy and repulsive man, with clothes that itch, a devastating fire, a conspiracy to lose their fortune, and cold mush for breakfast. I have taken on the difficult task of documenting these sad stories. However, you have the choice to put the book down right now and read something else, more pleasant – if, of course, that is what you prefer.

With deep appreciation,

Lemony Snicket