Dear reader,

I assume you do not enjoy being soaked - unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mold. You may also prefer not to read this book, in which the Baudelaire orphans encounter a particularly unpleasant amount of moisture while they are underwater and in the depths of despair.

The dreadful events they face are too numerous to list, and you certainly wouldn’t want me to mention the worst of them, which include mushrooms, the desperate search for a lost item, a mechanical monster, the sad message of a lost friend, and tap dancing.

I, as a dedicated author who has promised not to stop chronicling the depressing tale of the Baudelaires, must continue to delve into the lives of the children. However, you may choose to delve into a more cheerful book so that your eyes and spirits do not get dampened.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket