A few words about the book

We all have made some silent agreements. These are the unspoken compromises that govern our relationships, arising from unexpressed beliefs and expectations that subconsciously affect both parties. They might look something like this: "The one who makes more money should pay on dates" or "My boss isn't giving me a raise and knows I won't ask for one" or "It’s okay that we don’t match in bed because he is a very good person."

These agreements alienate our relationships as long as they remain unaddressed due to fear, aversion to conflict, feelings of obligation, or guilt. And because mutual expectations rarely align, a silent agreement can create unhappiness on both sides.

The good news is that there is a solution. With the right guidance, each of us can - here and now - reassess the rules of any problematic relationship for the benefit, ultimately, of both parties.

Experienced clinical psychologists Dr. Anderson, Banks, and Owens provide us with all the necessary mental tools to ensure healthier communication with our partner, friends, boss, or a family member. Through real-life cases, they show us how to discover our deeper motivations and how to change the toxic beliefs that poison our relationships.

With valuable instructions and tips on how to have productive conversations and consciously create new agreements about sex, money, commitment, family, the workplace, and health, this book will help us break the silence and resolve all the minefield issues before they cause irreparable damage to our lives.