Every situation that was extremely miserable, terribly humiliating, and vile that I found myself in provoked me with tremendous anger, but also with unspeakable pleasure. I felt the same way during moments when I committed some kind of wickedness or when I found myself in danger. At the moment I stole something, I intoxicated myself with my dishonor; not with the act itself, but with the extraordinary pleasure that the acute feeling of my depravity caused me. I confess that I often sought out this sensation intentionally, because it had a very strong effect on me... When - in such a case - you manage to hold back your anger or fear, then the pleasure surpasses any pleasure you can imagine...
...This is the image I saw in my dream, not as a painted canvas, but as a real landscape. It was a small cove, enchanting, of the Greek archipelago: tender blue waves, blooming beaches, an enchanting panorama, and in the distance, a sweet sunset; words fail to describe it. Here the first scenes of mythology were played out, here was the earthly paradise. The sun flooded the islands and the sea with its rays, happy to illuminate its divine children. A mesmerizing dream, beauty from the most incredible, to which humanity has dedicated all its powers since the beginning of time, for which it sacrificed everything, for which its prophets were killed and crucified, and without which the peoples do not wish to live and cannot die...
